Welcome to Lilliput Mr Corbyn.

The wearing or not-wearing of ties, the wearing or not-wearing of poppies. Bowing and not-bowing, singing and not-singing. The way to advancement or its opposite in 2015.

Jonathan Swift was onto this bloody nonsense nearly 300 years ago.

When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace (which often happens,) five or six of those candidates petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest, without falling, succeeds in the office.

The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends parallel to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one, sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward and forward, several times, according as the stick is advanced or depressed.  Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the stick, and his first minister the other; sometimes the minister has it entirely to himself.  Whoever performs his part with most agility, and holds out the longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded with the blue-coloured silk; the red is given to the next, and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twice round about the middle; and you see few great persons about this court who are not adorned with one of these girdles.

  • A Voyage to Lilliput, Chapter 3
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