I am sure it can be arranged

You’re bored with voting all the time are you?

So sorry you have to spend half an hour every couple of years deciding our future. It’s not as if there was ever a great movement to give us all a vote or anything. The people in power never wanted you to have a vote: they were quite happy with the way it was. If the people who campaigned for us all to have this right, because they thought it was important – yeah they were mostly middle-class and educated, but that doesn’t make them always bad people – had realised what a great bloody burden it would be to you, maybe they wouldn’t have fucking bothered and gone and written more poncey poems instead.

They are “all the same” are they? Well, they’re not, but let’s say they are. Whose fucking fault is that? You have some power in the world if you only choose to use it. But you can’t be arsed can you? So the people who smell the chance to get on and get a bit of influence, and who know all the best people in all the best circles join the party and get elected. They think you’re all plebs, and you are, because you let a lot of chancers do what they like, and because you’re so bored with politics and have so many better things to do, they get away with it.

There are people who get involved in politics because they give a toss about how society could be a bit better. The papers call them do-gooders: the new American term is Social Justice Warriors. They tend to be concerned about boring bloody wishy-washy shit like how people in power should pay their taxes, how the world gets dirtier and shittier and how nobody cares so long as they’re making the dosh. But fuck that.

You’ll vote (if you can be bothered) for a STRONG LEADER. That’s what we need!

We’vc had STRONG LEADERS before. We had Henry the Fifth. He was good. He attacked Rouen. He won the BATTLE OF AGINCOURT. He was nearly King OF FRANCE, which would have been great, obviously. Go, Henry the Fifth!

It’s a shame that Henry the Fifth and the other STRONG LEADERS we’ve had didn’t give a flying one about you and me (well, your and my great great etc. grandparents), about whether they had enough to eat or jobs to do. Not one iota of a flying one. They played power games, they attacked France and each other and at no time did they think of us poor sods except when they wanted tax or soldiers.

SO much has changed. Well we’ve stopped invading France anyway.

Here is when we need a STRONG LEADER: when we are likely to be INVADED. When the country’s up against it. That’s when we need Winston. The rest of the time he’s a liability: we need a thinking, visionary government instead.

Why not do away with all the boring all-the-same politicians and get ourselves a king and just let him rule us strongly? Admit it, that’s what we really want. Arise Henry the Ninth (or whichever wins the drowning-your-brother competition) and lead us strongly! Then we can sayBugger voting, let’s go to Wetherspoons”, and we won’t have to be bored with voting any more.

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